We left off with Christian's admission of love for Ana in the shower. It was romantic, really romantic.

"You love me," I whisper.
His eyes widen further and his mouth opens. He takes a huge breath, as if winded. He looks tortured--vulnerable.
"Yes," he whispers. "I do."
Chapter 9 begins with a mere three paragraphs about Ana's "jubilation," dashed ( Read more... )

We've covered the white females in Fifty Shades of Grey. It took me way, way, way longer than I thought it would to wrap those up, because the book is absolutely crawling with them. Let's talk about the black females.

1. Claire, the receptionist at Ana's job.

[Sidenote: I refuse to call it "SIP". That's the word sip, asshole. It doesn't sound ( Read more... )

Time for another installment of EL James's racially insensitive and stereotypical secondary characters Everyone But Ana and Christian Doesn't Matter! If you'll recall, our running count of evil blondes is breaken into three professions:
Evil Blond Receptionists: 3 (Olivia, Andrea, and Evil Blonde Number One)
Evil Blond Servers: 2 (The "flouncing" ( Read more... )

Okay, disclaimer time. Obviously, I've taken up the Blond Cause, because I just spent two hours writing a fake back-story for Gretchen ("Miss European Pigtails," though we never hear or see anything that makes Gretchen European. Hence my story, wherein Gretchen is an exchange student from Germany working for keep and college by serving the Greys ( Read more... )

Aaand I'm back ( Read more... )

Ok, seriously. I know I have a following of negative five readers, but God forbid Jennifer Armintrout becomes one of them, because I HAVE to post this paragraph:

We're constantly told, by Christian, by Kate, by Ana's dad, by the doctor who sees her just long enough for a pap smear, that Ana is strong, self-contained, bright, smart, mature, etc., ( Read more... )

Nothing makes me angrier in Fifty Shades of Grey than EL James's treatment of secondary characters. Just kidding! But it's definitely one of the worst things imaginable, for real. The secondary, or "minor" characters, fall into two categories. Their category defines Ana's treatment of them. Are you ready for the categories ( Read more... )

But first Ana must torment us with her emo ( Read more... )